Dear ain♥

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Hi. My last post was in 2009.
10 years have passed... A lot have happened.
But a miracle has occured.

Will share soon.

xoxo, ain.

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Title : thinking about you.

i miss you.i miss you so bad.

and i swear it's true.

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Title : love.

eventhough i bid you goodbye,to me this world is just for you.

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Title : i can't breath your love again.

school has started for about 3weeks already.
new modules.its even more difficult than the previous semester.
i merely survived last semester,i definately need to buck up.
but i cant.
my mind is not on the right track.
i am lost.
i don't know what to do but being happy for him.

i promise,
to give you your life.
to give you your happiness.
to give you your freedom.
to be happy for you.
but i can't let you go.
i can't stop loving you.
you can't make me hate you.
no matter how hard you try.

i really can't see you with another girl.
friends yes,but nothing special.
really,i cant!
because it was me all along.
but what can i do?
the more i fight back,the more you will push me away.
people advise me to forget about you and move on.
but i can't.
call me stupid,call me a fool.
even i agree with them.

i got jealous.
i got paranoid.
i got no confidence.
imagination run wild.
nevertherless,
but you ae worth my wait.
i will wait for you even if it takes months and years.
you don't have to make me hate you so that i can forget about you and move on.
so that you wont hurt me by leaing for someone else.
you know i cant get over you.
with a heavy heart,i'm stepping back.
letting you lead your life happily.
im still happy that we can still be friends.
but i just want you to know,
i love you.alot.
i will be at the back,watching.
praying for you every night and day.
and i want you to know,i will always be waiting for you.
because one day,we will get back together.
u told me before.
some things are worth the wait.
and you are worth my patience.

for once,im going to call you my friend.
call me if there's anything.
meet me if you need help.
and lets hang out soon.
be happy with you life.
and enjoy yourself.
i will be happy if you are.
and i know you gonna be ok.

ps:u still owe me a present.
:)

Labels: anyo....

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Title : happy birthday,ain!

i turned 18 yesterday.
however,nothing much happen.
this year's birthday is so different from my previous one.
i cried on my birthday.
at the strike of 12.
so did he.
i felt so empty and alone eventhough friends wishes me.

didn't even celebrate.
do you call going to the doctor on my birthday morning a celebration?
but atleast i went out with him.
did spend time with him.
atleast one of my wish come true.
to spend my day with him.
but the other wish,
no one nor anything can make that wish come true.
if only...
lots of things happened on that day.
lots of things were said on that day.
from town to vivo,
just to please two people.
but not me.
hais....

there's lots of things going through my mind.
but none i can express it in words.

you cant make me hate you.you cant make me stop loving you.
my love for you is too deep and strong that i cant seem to let go.
i don't know why must you make me hate you.
so that you wont have to choose?
so that you wont feel bad and move on?
i don't know.
you told me we will last,but why not now?
you told me,you will have a relationship because she wants it.
but do you think it's fair for me,her and you?
im breaking down.
im falling apart.
im lost.
i don't know what else to do anymore.
i cried almost every night to sleep.
my health is affected.
i told you to be happy with someone new,
but i cant.
its killing me inside.slowly.
i really don't know what else to do.
if only i could speed up time..
and spend my life together with you,
just like how we plan.

xoxo,ain

Yours Truly.

ain♥

i still need my bantal busok when i sleep.i detest mint and spicy food.
but give me lolipop and strawberry coated with chocolate,i will make you mine!
:)